This past weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to participate in the Chai Lifeline Miami marathon weekend. Although running a marathon is no small feat, what really strikes me as incredible are the stories of the families that have children touched by serious illness.
Saturday night, at the pre-race party, I listened with lots of emotion to children, volunteers, and one doctor tell the stories of these brave little people and their families. Much like the stories that we all hear, some have happy ending while others really don’t. As a mom of five beautiful healthy children seeing all of this can trigger fears, which it did. Rather than feeling grateful for what I have I started to feel afraid of what I potentially can lose. I am sure you have been there!
Being in that moment as a mom makes me think of my own children and students and the moments of fear that they experience. As a professional I support students through challenges in school. Students are often blocked by their fears making them unable to move forward in their learning. At home, my children can feel afraid or overwhelmed by homework, a test to study for or a project to complete. Here are some strategies that I use to support children when they are in fear:
- Validating their feeling is important. In the moment we feel an urgency for the task to be completed, however them feeling supported in essential. Discuss with your child that we sometimes feel really motivated and confident in our skills or our ability to complete a task and sometimes we just don’t. That is okay!
- Much like adults, when children are challenged by a task they can feel completed defeated. In those moments I remind them of the times when they felt great about their learning or just were feel good that day, which tends to help them reframe their view.
- Allow your child time to sit with the feeling and express that feeling. Some of the children I work with use that time to release the feeling physically by punching a pillow, curling up on the floor, or just a moment to disconnect and reset.
Our children need to know that is okay to feel scared, frustrated, discouraged in different situations and that we as adults also go through it. Showing them that we are accepting of our feelings and sharing it with them encourages them to be more accepting of their own feelings. Our talk can become their self-talk, which has the potential to be so empowering for children.
Have a great rest of your week!
Beth
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